Lessons from the stairwell
8.33 hours, 15,157 vertical feet, and 8 lessons learned
I get asked all the time why I would sign up for a hiking endurance event that brings you to the vertical elevation of Everest – without having to GO to the actual Mount Everest.
More than the physicality of it all, my why boils down to two things.
I’m curious about what the mountain wants to teach me. What it wants me to see and know and remember.
I want to celebrate my body and it’s vitality.
Little did I know that I was going to get what I assume is a foreshadowing, or maybe a prologue when I decided that as part of my training, and as part of my fundraising effort to support The Kyle Pease Foundation, my own condominium stairwell had it’s own lessons to teach me.
Let me backtrack…
I had an idea a few months ago to take advantage of being in a building with 25 stories, to use that both for training, and as a fun way to raise money for inclusion - so that more people with disabilities could feel what it is like to push beyond their limits.
When I first mentioned it to my husband, he asked “if I’d done the math.” Because his engineer brain was starting to calculate how many hours and stairs might be involved with reaching my goal.
I swore that yes, I’d done the math.
But let’s be honest…my math is about round numbers. And so no, I hadn’t done the math.
Eventually when I did…I readjusted and set out to raise $2500, with a 2-day stair climbing fest, where I’d climb up all 25 flights of stairs for every $50 raised.
The fabulous news is that we exceeded that goal.
8.33 hours and 15,157 vertical feet later…the stairclimbing fest looked like this:
30 climbs on Saturday
25 on Sunday
5 on Tuesday
And it was glorious.
My body felt fantastic - truly…which surprised me.
My heart was full which I guess surprised me too.
And I was so grateful for the support that this stair climbing fest created for all things KPF.
The physicality of it all was one thing…but my 8+ hours in the stairwell offered up important lessons.
Celebrate the journey along the way. You hear this all the time. I talk about this all the time with my coaching and retreat clients. Be present. Don’t wait for the finish line or finished product. The coaches at 29029 talk about this. But I don’t know that I’ve ever felt this so fully as I did in that stairwell. Each ascent had it’s own energy. There were tears on the first ascent - tears of gratitude. There was the feeling of walking hand in hand with my two nonna’s on another ascent. There was the delight of being surprised by a friend’s kindness on another lap. Had I been focused only on how I’d feel at the END, I would have missed out on all the mini-moments.
You are magnificent. You have nothing to prove to anyone. And you certainly don’t need to get cocky or DO more. So…something interesting happened to me during this climb. I felt stronger than I imagined I would. And honestly, I was proud of myself and my body. So when I got to Tuesday morning and my last 5 climbs, I was feeling pretty full of myself. The first ascent was great so I started thinking that maybe I could…or should…add some intensity as I prepared for the 2nd climb. So it was with great arrogance that I decided to take the steps TWO at a time as I set out. Except that I didn’t get very far. On the very first double step, the lower part of my left leg – braced and shrieked as it made impact with the step. It wasn’t pretty. I like made a sound or two. I paused and checked in with my body…and took a hesitant step to see how I felt. Which was not great, honestly. And by the time I got to the 25th floor, needing to go DOWN two flights of stairs to take the elevator back to ground level…there was some serious doubt accumulating in my mind. The short end of this story is that I did finish. But I went slow. And I was in pain. All because I felt like I needed to DO something more. Which is ridiculous given how pride of myself I was.
It is time to value your effort. Your YOU-ness. No more minimizing BS pretty please. If my taking two steps at a time hasn’t clued you into the fact that I have a tendency to be a perpetually unsatisfied goal settter…this lesson is one of those lessons that I get to keep re-remembering over and over in my life. I found myself saying things like “well the steps are small steps. They aren’t tall.” Or making light of my strength by focusing on the fact that I was going “slow.” Or even saying things like “well, this isn’t that big of a deal. It is only a little more effort than was in our training plan for this week, anyway.” Friends…that is all BS. And we deserve to celebrate ourselves, our dreams, and our journeys. Period. End of story. Exclamation mark.
Gratitude and appreciation are macro nutrients worth stocking up on. Protein, carbs, and fat are the three macro nutrients that nutrition apps and like to highlight. And yes, they are important. But I propose that we add gratitude and appreciation to the level of nutrients that our heart and soul need to thrive. I remember a former client saying to me that she was “all gratituded out.” And I get it. Sometimes the search for gratitude in self-help circles can feel like spiritual bypassing. Like the gratitude should erase out all the hard stuff. That isn’t what I’m saying. What I’d like to offer is that allowing gratitude and appreciation are more than “nice to haves” on the journey. Gratitude that you FEEL (instead of just THINK about). Gratitude that lives inside you..that makes your heart go pitter-patter. This level of appreciation for the big and little moments along the way. I was struck with gratitude - on my very first climb of the stairwell. And again and again throughout the 3 days. It brought me to tears. I could feel it running through my blood stream, and riding on the wings of my breath. And while it doesn’t erase the hard moments, this deep gratitude reminded me again and again that what this journey is about BEING instead of DOING.
Singing and dancing makes everything better. And easier. Ok so I found myself singing out loud in the stairwell. A lot. To songs like “Livin’ on a prayer” by Bon Jovi. Or “Whatever it takes” by Imagine Dragons. And let’s not forget “From now on” and “This is me” from The Greatest Showman. And “Diamonds in the Sun” by Girish. And over the course of the 60 climbs, I could be seen dancing up the stairs. As in shimmying my hips along the way. It was delightful. There is likely something physiological to this….because while you are singing, you are also regulating your breathing in a different way which helps calm (or activate) the nervous system. So it makes sense. And singing out loud and dancing are new to me practices. But being unapologetic about it like this…and envisioning myself doing the same thing when I’m in Whistler for the 29029 event…it just felt true. So try it…I dare you. The next time you are doing something that maybe feels hard or big, try singing and dancing.
You don’t have to do everything solo. I have a tendency to feel like I need to be a one-woman show. Self-reliant. Independent. Not needing anyone or anything. Except that all that independence is truthfully…just armor. It is something that over the years, I “put on” to keep my heart safe. As a way to stay STRONG. But the stairwell reminded me that community and support - and allowing yourself to receive encouragement and assistance…doesn’t make you weak. It doesn’t take away from your YOU-ness. It ADDS to the journey. I might have been the one doing all the climbing for all those hours…but William at our front desk cheered me on every single time I walked past the desk on my way to go for another lap. And the friends who made a sign for me that hung on their floor…and then, along with my husband, climbed a full ascent with me just because. And sign my daughter made of how proud she was of me. And the messages that I received on social media that rooted me on. Each act of support and friendship buoyed me. Each generous moment of encouragement felt like a door opening…a door to a chapter where my thriving flourishes, one moment of intimate connection at a time. I know and see the power of community being built and offering support at every single retreat I lead…but the stairwell and the journey over these days, reminded me that I deserve this too. And now that I’ve allowed it…I don’t want to forget it.
Say YES to crazy ideas. And, no, you don’t need a defibrillator. Let me be clear…not everyone will understand your why. This was true for me throughout this journey from my husband asking if I had done the math, to a well-intentioned neighbor and friend being very concerned about knowing where the defribillator was in our building. But here is the thing. Not everyone needs to understand your why. The only person that needs to not just UNDERSTAND but also be DEVOTED to my why - is me. And while it would be easy to allow the doubts that others project on to us…they get to have their doubts. And we get to show up anyway. Because at least for me, I feel like my crazy ideas are threads …that are mine to follow. Without expectations. Without needing to know where they’ll lead (or if they’ll lead anywhere). Saying YES to your crazy ideas and dreams is a gift of self-love. It is an act of self-remembrance and honoring the YOU that lives without all the armor and layers of patterning that take us away from our truest selves.
While none of these lessons are new to me….there is a depth that feels like I’ve unlocked a new layer or level of truth within myself. And whether these lessons are the prologue or simply the exclamation marks on what is true. I know that continuing to turn towards these reminders gets to be part of how I continue to move through the journey.
I’d love to hear if any of these lessons from the stairwell resonate with you…or which one you needed to hear.
Xo,
Elena
P.S. My overall goal is to raise $10,000 for The Kyle Pease Foundation. And every penny counts. While the official stair climbing fest is over, I’m going to continuing honoring the impact of climbing all 25 stories for everyone $50 donated throughout the month of June. You can donate HERE.